[X-Men: To Serve & Protect 4]
Dazzler, narrating: It’s not every day you get abducted by a cosmic being and forced into a roller derby contest of champions (I know, right). At stake is some poorly-defined cosmic prize offered by the Grandmaster, who has apparently been reborn younger and even more irritating. Which leaves just me and my security team plucked fresh from my world tour against, like, 100 Z-list super villains, none of whom should be let anywhere near some cosmic-prize-power thing. Am I worried?
Heck no. I’m the best there is at what I do.
And what I do is Roller Skate.
[Descriptions above three women fighting in roller-skates with balletic kung-fu grace:
MISTY KNIGHT. DAUGHTER OF THE DRAGON. DAZZLER WORLD TOUR SECURITY. WICKED AWESOME.
DAZZLER. THE WORLD’S GREATEST MUTANT POP-STAR ROLLER SKATER.
COLLEEN WING. DAUGHTER OF THE DRAGON. DAZZLER WORLD TOUR SECURITY. ALSO WICKED AWESOME.]
what is this i am reading
how does this exist
do you know that i go around requesting “misty/colleen: roller derby au” on pretty much every prompt fic challenge i have the opportunity to request it on? do you know that “roller derby” is my favorite fic cliche and misty and colleen are my favorite characters and then there’s dazzler who is as great as jubilee mixed with booster gold and just just just just
HOW DOES THIS EXIST?!?
YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT DAZZLER AND HER RADICAL ALL-GIRL ROLLER DEATH SQUAD IS AN ACTUAL THING